My Lousy Liver

In the first year of learning French I came across the word 'fatiguee' and was told it meant tired.  The teacher gave the English word fatigue as part of the explanation.  But fatigue, I have learnt is no synonym for tired.  Fatigue is much, much more.  It slithers through your bones like a snake, it seeps through your already fogged brain, it wrings out those last few drops of energy from your aching muscles.  And it makes you feel like an expired battery that has excreted its corrosive acid, resulting in an explosion of bitterness. Liver damage gives you fatigue, real fatigue, on a par with a nasty virus.  Yet to all intents and purposes you are your normal self.  You brim with frustration at not being able to do what you want to do, at not being able to hold down a full time job, not being the parent or partner you wish to be, not be able to get the exercise your consultant says you need.  Because with frustration, fatigue brings 'f*ck it' as everything becomes al

Over the Christmas period I have been grieving the loss of a dear friend who left my side when I fell ill.  This precious companion had been part of my life through thick and thin  for almost 40 years . My dear friend, how can I celebrate when you were always the one leading the fun times?  What can I do when it was you who supported me in dark times, when little else eased my pain?  Now that we are parted,  I can only look on as others share your warmth, laughing happily as you wash away their cares.  And yes, I am jealous, quite frankly I am.  Because I miss you, alcohol, I really do.   I never realised how important drinking was to me, sure I exceeded health guidelines on many an  occasion, but it was only ever a social adjunct, never a crutch.  And yet, when you are the only one sober, you become very aware of how important alcohol is as a British social conduit, and how much of an outsider you are if you are not able to partake.    Becoming a non-drinker is tough; there'

When I was studying for my PGCE, a lecturer asked us to draw a picture of a scientist.   Despite the majority of us being female, most of the drawings showed a man in a white coat with mad hair.   No surprise there; science is a male dominated world where men get all the fame and glory.   To help change our views, we were tasked to research and present a female scientist.   Naturally there were plenty of Powerpoints on Marie Curie, Virginia Apgar and Katherine Johnson, but if I could have that opportunity again, I would present to you Sheila Sherlock, the Liver Lady. Sheila Patricia Violet Sherlock, born March 31 1918 in Dublin, but raised in Folkstone, Kent, was one of those pioneering women who broke the all-male moulds through her brilliance and determination. In pre-war Britain, female applicants to medical schools were at a great disadvantage, and she was rejected by several colleges before gaining a place at Edinburgh University in 1936. Her outstanding abilities howe

When I was feeling really ill and my poor liver was not coping at all, I found there was only one meal that I could eat and function reasonably well on.  The thing is, if your liver cannot properly detox, you can only eat foods that are pretty toxin free.  So once I had found this dish, I ate it day in, day out.  As you can imagine, I got a little bored and frustrated with this overly virtuous and extremely restricted diet, so we gave it a name: Soylent Green. Soylent Green comes from an old Sci-Fi horror movie which is based in a time when there are no farms left and people survive on the gruel produced by the Soylent Corporation, which comes in 3 colours, red, yellow and best of all, green. I don't wish to spoil the story line in case you ever watch it, so I won't divulge what was in their spu, but this is my version a.k.a chilli sin carne - or chilli without meat. Chilli Sin Carne: lots of veg (onions, garlic, chillies, sweet potato, mushrooms, courgettes, peppers), fri

When I mark children's writing, I often see attempts at using ambitious vocabulary, which sadly do not quite suit the context.  The missed bus is devastating or the petrifying loss of a water bottle.  This happens because they know they are synonyms for everyday words but they are not sure of the exact meaning or implied intensity.  I realise I was like this with many medical terms. If you had asked me what chronic means, I would have said really bad.  So being told I had a chronic liver condition made me panic.  But no, chronic means that it is long lasting, or even life-long with this condition. It doesn't have to be life-threatening. Similarly, if I had had to describe cirrhosis I would probably have conjured up a picture of something like a large gherkin in the shape of a triangle drawn by a four year old and pickled in alcohol.  The shape is fairly accurate, as is the lumpy surface but there is no pickling in sight, because cirrhosis is not necessarily caused by an

Just wanted to share what this Canadian man is saying about our condition. And if you get to read this Robert, well done for getting international publicity for our quirky condition. Liver disease survivor wants everyone to get tested